Today George W. Bush’s presidential portrait was unveiled at the White House. After seeing it I did some google-ing and checked out the portraits of presidents past. I didn’t find any DaVinci-Code-ish stuff, but I did walk away with some thoughts on his portraits in reference to the others…

1. George W. Bush was the only married president. Now of course this is wrong. However, if all you knew about the presidents was what you got from their portraits, then you may arrive at that conclusion. Why? Because he is the only one with a clearly visible wedding ring. Now, John Tyler may or may not, he does have a ring on his left finger, but it doesn’t look like a traditional wedding band. Almost more like a school ring? — gasp! Skull and Bones?!?!?!— Long story short, if you were a single woman in a bar full of the Presidents of the United States, then you would know not to waste your time with W.
2. He and his Dad both have portraits of other things in their portraits. Why? Don’t know, but I think it’s fair to assume that it’s a conscious wink from the son to his Dad. If that’s the case, then John Quincy didn’t care for his Dad very much, because his looks nothing like John Adams’. Still though, Herbert Walker had what is very clearly a scene from the Civil War, where as just-plain-Walker has what could be a still from Brokeback Mountain.
3. He is one of three Presidents to have the American flag visible in his portrait. In George’s case he has a pin, while the others are Franklin D. Roosevelt and Bill Clinton, who both have flags in the background. This is maybe the only statistic/trait that George W. Bush and the aforementioned have in common (aside from being POTUSES). If you’re Republican, you chalk that up as a crack about the other two cheating on their wives. If you’re a Democrat, then…well you don’t need my help.
4. He is NOT the dumbest looking President. I’m not going to debate whether he was the actual dumbest or not, I wasn’t alive for most of them. Though I can say, with some authority, that James Polk looks at first glance less intelligent. I mean, just look at his hands. The runners up were Herbert Hoover, who’s eyes were too close together for my liking, and I’m sad to say George Washington. — Washington’s face is actually quite reminiscent of a despairing Charlie Brown — I would also like to point out how sad Andrew Jackson looks. It’s probably because he knows the portrait will bring attention to his cartoonish neck.

While I’m sure this is just a graphic, I still like to think that the NFL truly does know the location of Peyton Manning at any given point in time. Much like in the movie Enemy of State, the NFL has access to a network of surveillance cameras on every corner of every street, that allow them to take note of the movement of many key players around the league.

They also have a team of highly trained ex-Navy Seals that they are able to deploy in the event that James Harrison comes within half a mile of any QB (including Roethlisberger) during the off season.

President Obama’s campaign is making these.

This is not something that a supporter photo shopped or a popular gift shop item. This is something that the president and his campaign staff created, because they have always embraced his sense of humor. A lot of people would probably say this is a smart alec (ass) response to a “serious” issue, but had my citizenship been put into question I would probably dismiss it and laugh about it in a similar way.

Sarcasm isn’t necessarily revered amongst most people, but it is by me. So I like President Obama, if anything because he isn’t afraid to show off what is a genuine and witty sense of humor. If we’re talking pure personality, then I’d rather have that than a guy who half asses Seinfeld references…